Why “Speak About It”? A letter from our Executive Director…
"Sex-Ed for all" is a concept that means a lot to me. It is a basic human right; we all have should feel empowered to understand and direct our own bodies and how/if we use them. We should also be given the tools to figure out how to use them to interact with others in ways that are compassionate and respectful. It is an aspirational statement because there is a difference between the world as it is and the world as it should be. While we understand that everybody deserves sex ed as a tool to further understand themselves and their intimate lives, we also know that the world that we have excludes lots of folks from conversations. "Sex-Ed for all" is another way of saying "inclusive sex-education". We dare to envision a world where folks can see themselves represented and understand that normal is a wide reaching term and that the default options seen popularly portrayed are just one of many. When we can see ourselves represented in the world around us, we can dream of more fully engaging in it. Sex-ed for all is a means of making sure that all of us get to imagine a world where we belong without needing to hide or force ourselves into a mold.
At Speak About It, we say that our brand of consent education is for everyone, and we mean it!
The current social/political landscape seems to push things very heavily into a binary. Things are either right or wrong. They are virtuous or they are damned. Having a balanced discussion that embraces nuance is seeming very tricky right now because everything seems to be at a simmer, so it's easy to bring it to a boil. Our work is so deeply personal and ties to so many closely held beliefs and experiences that folks can sometimes feel hesitant to engage in the conversation because it requires vulnerability at a time when that is extra scary/tedious and it can feel like any opposing viewpoint is telling you that you're fundamentally wrong as a person. In a society where this is the overtone and we are still fresh on the tail of lots of conversations about "cancel culture", it's no wonder that people are hesitant to talk openly about something like sex and intimacy. Interestingly, that's precisely why we need to. Pleasure, distraction, love, dating, and sex all can be things that people lean on in challenging times. Being able to discuss how to engage in each thoughtfully and safely is extra important. Also, we need to challenge the narrative that it isn't “ok” to discuss big topics, and that differing opinions is a good reason to condemn someone else. Humans are complex, so our opinions and our conversations about our opinions should be equally complex so that they more accurately mirror the vast expanse of the human experience. Supporting our work allows us to spread our tools to have humanized discourse and hold space for when two things are true.
Speak About It's approach has consistently seemed to help folks reimagine what is possible for them and their communities. We have had folks of all ages tell us that they didn't realize that it was possible to have these conversations about identity and sexuality so openly and calmly or that they have felt/experienced something that we have talked about but were never able to put words to it or seen it represented. We don't always realize how limited a situation feels for us until we are given space to spread our wings. When you allow opportunities for honest, open discussion without fear of judgment, you allow for people to bring their full, authentic selves. Once you get a taste of living fully and openly, it becomes harder to go back to being boxed in and, at the end of the day, Speak About It is about providing tools for folks to safely show up in spaces and allow others to do the same so we can have the lives and interactions that feel validating and empowering to us.
Thanks for another year of Speaking About It with us!
-Oronde Cruger
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